There was a girl when I was a boy
by Suave Pastel
Summary: Thirteen years after Hiccup is crowned king of the Archipelago, he's finally getting married. But does the king really wants the fearless shield maiden as his queen? And is that fate what she really wants?


She was full of titles and honors, she was a legend: the fierce and beautiful maiden Camicazi the Courageous, feared in the whole Archipelago and further, heiress to the Bog Burglars' throne, daughter of the chieftess Big-Boobied Bertha, first warrior of the Kingdom of the Wilderwest and right-hand to the King Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third. And now, his betrothed.

Camicazi sighed lying on the ground of the stables near to Stormfly, her mood dragon.

"What would Fishy say whether he could see me like this?" she mumbled to herself.

"I wouldn't say nothing, just laugh" said a male voice behind her.

The maiden get up and turned to face her smily friend with a frown. He laughed.

"Come on, fearless shield maiden, what's happening? This isn't like you at all. You're the fiercest woman I know, and I know your whole tribe, your mom and Valhallarama herself".

Ashamed, the blonde sat on the floor again.

"I'm not scared, Fishlegs, if that's what you mean, us Bog-Burglars are afraid of _nothing_ , is just… I am not scared"

He smiled and sat next to her.

"Remember the first time we met? In those Roman dungeons?"

She nodded looking at her sword as it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Remember when they got us to the arena?"

Cami chuckled and sat again.

"Yeah! You were peeing in your pants!"

Fishlegs rolled his eyes.

"Kind of, yeah, and Hiccup was planning and analyzing the situation, as always, but _you_ were daring all Romans to fight you. They laughed because you were a girl so you dared them all to fight and when my father tried to get Hiccup, you didn't doubt trying to fight him, remember?"

Camicazi lowered her face sadly and nodded.

"I remember."

Fishlegs softly took her chin and made her see his face.

"Cami, you've faced and killed each scary crazy guy who tried to harm Hiccup and I know you would do it a million times again, so, what's now freaking you out this way?"

She cried in frustration.

"I'm not freaked out, just… worried. I rather like to fight all our enemies again than marry Hiccup"

Fishlegs' eyes widened in surprise. Suddenly realizing what she just said, the Bog-Burglar shouted-

"No, I didn't mean that! I want Hiccup, and marrying him is such an incredible dream… mean, it's quite good, yeah, but…" she hugged her knees.

"But?" inquired Fishlegs.

"I'm not ready to be Queen of the Archipelago"

That was it. When Hiccup had asked for her hand in marriage, he added she would be a great queen to his kingdom, he had _expectations_ of the kind of queen she would have to be. And that was more than Cami's mind could stand.

"Well, then you don't have to be the queen, y'know, just marry him and be _only_ his wife, keep doing your normal business and let him do his," said the Chief of the No-names shrugging.

Camicazi shook her head.

"You don't get it, Fishlegs. He _asked_ me to. He said he loves me, he wanted me to be his wife and his _queen_ … Hiccup thinks I am exactly who _the kingdom_ needs, who _he_ needs to _rule_ by his side," she buried her face in her hands "I have no idea where he got that, mean, seriously, _me_? I don't have the diplomatic skills he has, nor the patience nor the bravery he does, I am _not_ like his mother, no matter how much he tries to believe I am-"

Suddenly, she shutted up. Fishlegs said nothing, just felt sorry for his friend in silence. So, that was the whole thing, he knew it- that Camicazi have always admired Valhallarama and wanted to be like her.

"Y'know, Camicazi," whispered Fishlegs in a kind tone "you don't have to be Valhallarama and I don't think Hiccup wants you to. He loves you since we were kids and by those times, he kind of _hated_ his mother".

"I don't know… I… well, _loved_ him too, but maybe we should wait…"

"You've been fighting by his side for fifteen years long, that's kinda enough time to get to know each other if you ask me".

"I didn't" answered her looking at the sword.

The man rolled his eyes.

"Let's imagine you don't marry him, would you like to see _any other woman_ as his queen?"

She flushed and he smiled.

"I don't care, I've never cared, he can do whatever he wants with his life"

Fishlegs laughed loudly.

"He can? Remember how you scared those girls who _just_ wanted to _dance_ with him?"

Camicazi sighed.

"Why are we talking about this? We're marrying anyway".

He got up and heft her by the hand. Smiled.

"That's right. Now let me call your Bog-Burglar friends to help you to prepare yourself for the announcement. The third autumn's friday is in two weeks and you don't even have your ceremony dress," he smirked "besides, should start practicing braiding your hair, it probably will take you the two weeks."

Furiously, she screamed and threw five knives at his back as he ran to the exit.

"Shut up, Fishface!"

Now she was certainly better but still scared. Camicazi shook her head.

 _I am not scared_.

_._._._

Hiccup, on the other hand, was pretty excited. Two weeks and finally he and Camicazi would be married. She was just perfect, just what his kingdom needed- brave, smart, loyal, an awesome warrior and a great leader. Only she could be Queen of the Wilderwest.

"Your Majesty?" Hiccup frowned and turned back to see his best friend entering to the throne room.

"How many times do I have to ask you not to call me like that?"

"I'm sorry, Hiccup, you know me"

Both smiled.

"I do, Fishlegs. And so do you, now tell me, how's Camicazi?"

Fishlegs sticked his sword on the ground and leaned on it.

"Not very well. She's totally messed up, all this marriage stuff is driving her crazy"

Dismayed, Hiccup's eyes widened.

"What? I thought she would be happy to… well, to marry me"

"And she is! To _marry you,_ " answered Fishlegs picking up a potato-snack from a bowl "to be queen? Not too much".

"Well, she might be nervous but it's going to be fine. People will love her"

The raven-haired raised an eyebrow.

"You think?"

"I do. She is exactly what our kingdom needs right now. We must show the world we're not brainless muscled barbarians anymore"

Fishlegs crackled.

"You seriously think Camicazi is gonna represent that modern viking type? What have love done to you!"

Hiccup frowned.

"I do. She's smart, beautiful and thin like the southern women"

"She's also very… _impulsive_. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I do, and you're absolutely wrong, Fishlegs"

"Then don't- let's say it this way, imagine you're meeting the Roman emperor and he makes fun of you, what you think Camicazi would do?"

"Nothing, she would stay quiet and let me do the talk"

Was he serious?

"You're not serious, are you?"

Hiccup sat in the throne and rubbed his temples.

"What _you_ think she would do, Fishlegs?"

"Kill the emperor. Com'on, she would kill a girl just for looking at you"

"She's not that crazy"

"Hiccup, whether you want to show the world we're not savages anymore, then I'm sorry for telling you this but Camicazi's not the best choice for a Queen"

Hiccup sighed.

"You _may_ be right"

"I _am_! And you know it!"

Hiccup thought over what he was about to say.

 _The needs of the many outweigh the need of the few._

"Maybe I should… well, wait and marry a southern woman"

Fishlegs choked and coughed.

" _What_?! No! I didn't say that! Besides, marrying a royal southern woman is completely out of options, maybe someday one of your children or grandchildren, but right now we're still savages for them"

Hiccup sighed and played with his jeweled dagger, betrothal gift from Camicazi, she had stolen it from a pirate captain just for him. Hiccup knew he had to think of his kingdom, but he loved her.

Guessing his redheaded friend's thoughts, Fishlegs said-

"Listen, King, I think Camicazi is the right one to be to you exactly the kind of Queen the southern people would expect for a 'civilized' king"

"And what kind is that?"

Fishlegs rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, just promise you'll never tell Camicazi this…"

"Promise, now tell me"

"Well, she's beautiful, thin, blonde, blue-eyed and that's exactly what they need: the image of a quiet and beautiful woman sit beside you. A doll"

"I don't think anyone could turn Camicazi into a doll"

"She'll have to act"

Hiccup sighed again.

"I might not be that sure about marrying her anymore"

"Of course you are! She'll be great you just have to talk to her and ask her to be the kind of wife you need"

Hiccup smiled. How could he? She was so brave, so high-spirited, so powerful… she was a warrior, not a doll.

"I don't think she can do that"

But what they didn't know is that behind the big gates of the throne room, was Camicazi. She went to show Hiccup and Fishlegs her braided hair, but she listened the last three sentences:

"I might not be that sure about marrying her anymore"

"Of course you are! She'll be great, you just have to talk to her and ask her to be the kind of wife you need"

"I don't think she can do that"

 _What?_

Heartbroken, she ran to her room. Why was he marrying her, then? She cried in frustration, quickly turning her sadness into anger.

"Cami? Something wrong?" asked one of her 'Bog Burglar friends' as Fishy called them.

" _Everything_ is wrong, Typhoon! Why is he marrying me then in first place? If I'm not what he _wants_ , then wh- oh, Freyja, the kingdom?! He's marrying me for the kingdom!"

Typhoon, Camicazi's nearest thing to a girl friend, ran to her side.

"Whatchu talkin 'bout?" asked with a frown.

"Nothing, Typhoon"

"You're always being so weird, Camicazi. You're marrying the King, should be sorta happy"

"I am, Phoonie, my mother will be so pleased- I'll be a powerful woman, we Bog-Burglars are meant be powerful rulers, we're not like those weak southern women, we don't belong to no man. He wants me to be _only_ his queen? As he wishes," she mumbled.

Fortunately, Typhoon wasn't known for clever, so she just left not caring of Camicazi's words.

Then, autumn's fourth friday came. The wedding day. Hiccup was so nervous for a king and so quiet for a groom, Fishlegs was the one organizing everything and for once in their lives he was in control while Camicazi was totally losing it.

She was so upset that Fishlegs had even to prepared her bride bath, which probably had never happened in all Viking weddings history.

Surprisingly, it was the fierce Barbara the Barbarian and the stupid Typhoon who were helping her.

"The bath is ready, Camicazi. I'm sorry, but you'll have to manage on your own now on, I have chieftains and an emperor to heed."

She nodded.

"It's okay, Barbara and Phoonie will help me".

"I don't get why you insist on keeping Phoonie around, she's not… well, you know".

Cami shrugged. No one in the world would ever wipe that out of her: she was totally aware of Typhoon's little crush on _her_ betrothed.

"Camicazi" called Barbara from inside the Bath House "the water is ready".

She walked into the place and let Beefburger, Harriettahorse, Typhoon, Sporta and Barbara undress her. Nervously, Cami ined the pool of cold water plenty of copious amounts of smelly colorful flowers.

"This smell is making me dizzy" she said sinking her body in the pool.

Barbara smiled and the Escape Artists chuckled in a corner.

"I guess that's their propose, Cam"

The shield maiden frowned.

"It's so freaking cold"

"I know"

"What is this damned bath for anyway?"

The Bog-Burglars chuckled again.

"This smelly smell is… good for the honeymoon"

Camicazi widened her eyes.

After a few chuckles more, the Escape Artists move towards the door.

"We have to leave, Camicazi" said Sporta "Fishlegs told us to join the hunting"

"Hunting? _Fishlegs_?"

"Yeah, you know, the king wants to hunt the animals for the feast himself and his dragons."

She and Barbara frowned.

"And what has Fishlegs to with it whether it's the king who's hunting?" asked Barbara.

"Fishlegs wanted someone to take care of him"

 _Couldn't he choose anyone more incompetent?_ thought both Barbara and Camicazi.

"I think he's going with some Eggingard, that's going to do something with the feast"

Fishlegs had sent some of his bards and warriors to look for Eggingard and bring her and the Wanderers to the wedding. Both Hiccup and Fishlegs appreciated her a lot.

"Eggingard? The Wanderer? What's she with Fishy?" asked threateningly Barbara.

"Dunno. We're going, girls"

Barbara and Camicazi looked at each other. None of them were amused of having a bunch of girls hanging around their men. But also, none of them would ever said it aloud.

.-.-.-.

While Hiccup and the Escape Artists were hunting for the feast, Fishlegs and Eggingard were making sure everything was going well.

"Is the circle of runes ready?" asked Fishlegs.

"All the Guardian has to do is walk in" answered Eggingard.

"And the hanging hammer? Is it safe?" inquired him unsure.

Eggingard frowned.

"You think I want to kill the king or what?"

Fishy laughed.

"Sorry, just asking."

She rolled her eyes.

"Are the sacrifices ready, Fishlegs?"

He nodded.

"The three of them." "So, that's left the… mead! Are the tons of mead in the hall?"

She laughed.

"Relax, Fishlegs, even the honeymoon's ton of mead and cups are ready"

"Can you blame me for wanting my best friend's wedding to be perfect?" smiled him.

She smiled too.

"You are so sweet. Let's go"

._._._.

Hiccup came back for the hunting happy, nervous and excited.

Camicazi was already there, in a beautiful dark blue dress which hugged softly her harmonic figure. Her hair was down but brushed, long and suave. She was pretty serious for a wedding. _Her_ wedding.

Nervously, Hiccup took the Endeavour and wait for Fishlegs to start everything.

It was such an event, all Barbaric chieftains and the Roman emperor were there, surrounded for a bunch of bodyguards, but he was there anyway. Stoick and Valhallarama were there nearly crying.

The lead Guardian of Tomorrow appeared in the garden and everyone shouted up immediately.

Hiccup and Camicazi walked slowly into the circle of runes where the Guardian was waiting for them. Hiccup had grown so much that without the crown his head almost touch the hanging hammer, symbol of Thor's protection.

He and Camicazi crossed their wedding swords holding them on their right hands and placed their lefts on the tip of each other's one.

The Guardian raised a hand and placed it on Hiccup's arm.

He smiled to his bride but she remained serious.

"In the name of Odin, I give you the ancient sword of the Haddocks, for you'll be the great protector of my lineage, the mother of my offspring and my wife. My queen." He smiled holding the old and stained Haddock sword.

The Guardian touched Cami's arm now.

"In the name of Frigga, I give you this new sword never used before, for you'll be my husband now on and I shall live under your protection and trust to you everything and anything I have."

 _What a shitty swearment_ thought Camicazi.

They both pressed their left hands on the tips of the swords until bleeding.

The Guardian step out the circle and Fishlegs talked again.

"People of the Wilderwest, our kingdom finally has a Queen! Camicazi the Courageous, queen of the Wilderwest!"

And gave Hiccup Chinhilda's diadem. Smiling, the king placed it on her bride's head.

Fishlegs made a sign to Eggingard. She lifted her axe and shouted:

"A goat for Thor, so he'll blessed your marriage with his protection" and killed the animal quickly.

"A sow for Freyja, for she'll blessed you with love and happiness" and killed the poor thing.

"And a horse for Freyr, so he shall blessed you with worthy offspring".

All Vikings shouted in happiness and start singing.

Hiccup took Camicazi in arms walked into the gates of the Castle. Even though she already lived in the Castle, that would be the first time she walked in as his wife, so he had to.

"Long live the Queen!" shouted Big Boobied Bertha.

Camicazi was stubborn on remaining serious, but all the wedding thing, his smile, his happiness, his touching… she decided to smile a little, after all, she was becoming queen.

"Dance, king!" Said Humongously Hotshot the Hero from the crowd.

Hiccup smiled. He had never danced before, not sober at least, but he could try.

He offered Camicazi a hand. She stared at it and with no chance of helping it, she accepted.

She took his hands and he turn her.

No one in the world knew that couple better than Fishlegs: he asked his bards to play some music. _Their_ music.

" _I'll swim and sail on savage seas, with ne'er fear of drowning_ " sang the deep and beautiful voice of Hiccup's " _And I'll gladly ride the waves of life_ ". Cami smiled.

" _No scorching sun, nor freezing cold, will stop me from my journey_ " he embrace her sang in her ear. " _If you would promise me your heart_ "

He had made her mad, yes, but, could any girl in the world resist to him?

" _And love for eternity_ " sang her. " _My dearest one, my darling dear, your mighty words astound me. But I've no need of mighty deeds when I feel your arms around me_ " she smiled and he made her turn on her place.

" _But I would bring you rings of gold, I'll even sing you poetry and I will keep you from all harm if you stay beside me_ "

" _I have no use for rings of gold, I care not for your poetry, I only want your hand to hold_ "

Hiccup quickly kissed her.

" _I only want you near me_ "

They both smiled and danced in perfectly harmonic way.

" _To love, to kiss, to sweetly hold_ " sang both " _for the dancing and the dreaming, for all the sorrows and delights, I'll keep your love beside me. I'll swim and sail on savage seas with ne'er fear of drowning, and gladly ride the waves of life if you will marry me_ "

They kissed in front of everyone. And all Vikings, even the Romans, smiled.

"My Queen" he whispered in her ear.

The party was certainly one to remember, everyone was singing, dancing and drinking. Hiccup and Camicazi were dancing, giggling and smiling, they looked like the happiest couple in the Wilderwest, but inside their minds they both were anything but happy- Hiccup knew something was wrong, but he wouldn't ask in the middle of the wedding.

"What's wrong?" asked her, noticing the chan in his attitude.

Hiccup frowned.

"You tell me. Something wrong?"

"Maybe _you_ should tell me"

He sighed. He had to know but it would be in the privacy of the bridal room.

The day ran between dances, games and mead, and finally the night came.

Hiccup and Camicazi stepped in front of the castle's gate.

Fishlegs placed behind Camicazi and Barbara behind Hiccup with their respective cups of mead as their wedding night witnesses.

They smiled to their people. Fishlegs handed Camicazi the cup and Barbara did the same with Hiccup. They drank and smiled.

"We want a prince!" shouted Baggybum visibly drunk. "And he'll be called Snotlout!"

"No, we need a princess!" exclaimed Big Boobied Bertha.

"And she shall be named Termagant!" added Fishlegs from Camicazi's back.

All men and women started arguing and fighting over the names while king and queen went inside.

"Have a nice child! Err… Meant night!" Shouted Stoick while punching his brother's face.

Inside the bridal room, suddenly Camicazi was confused about the night. Was it her duty as a queen or as a wife?

"What's wrong?" asked Hiccup suddenly.

She engage her eyes on his identical sapphires. He looked devastated.

"You tell me" answered her.

"You haven't enjoy any part of the party and I'd like to know why."

Cami sat on the bed.

"I heard you and Fishlegs, Hiccup. Whether I am not the kind of wife you need, why are you marrying me?"

His eyes widened in shock.

"What?! Where did you get that?"

"You told Fishlegs I can't be the kind of wife you need"

Suddenly realizing what had happened, he almost burst out laughing.

"I see. That wasn't it at all. We were talking about the kind of wife I need to impress the Southern kingdoms, a doll. I don't think you can turn yourself into a doll."

Slowly and gradually, she got all her face red.

"Yeah… of course… I… shit…" She started laughing awkwardly.

Hiccup laughed too and sat besides her.

"Camicazi" he took her hand smiling "I'm sorry you couldn't enjoy this day because of this… misunderstanding"

She smiled still embarrassed.

"So do I"

They kissed quickly and playfully.

"Now, let's end well our wedding" said Camicazi and kissed him roughly.

.-.-.-.

Dawn was almost there. Fishlegs and Barbara were sit out the bridal room as the murgen-gifu witnesses they were.

"Was something wrong, Fishy?"

"Why you ask?"

Barbara looked at her feet.

"Camicazi's been weird all night. It was like she wasn't enjoying her wedding"

Fishlegs frowned.

"She was nervous. Just that"

"I don't know"

They sighed.

"Fishlegs… now Hiccup is married, are we doing the same?"

Fishlegs smiled sadly.

"Is that what you want? You're a warrior and I am a bard"

"I love few things, Fishlegs, and battle is not one of them. You are."

Fishlegs closed his eyes. And smiled.

"Then I'll talk to your father after the ceremony"

She smiled of pure joy.

"I've already done so. He said he'll accept you only if Hiccup grants his permission. You know, to get a good gift"

Fishlegs laughed.

"Who would ever think fifteen years ago that your father would want Hiccup as his daughters best man?"

Barbara chuckled too.

"Now I'm not feeling so patient. Can't we just in?"

He chuckled.

"You know we can't. No one can in the room until the husband opens the door"

Then, Hiccup opened the door smiling.

"Good morning, people!"

Behind him was Camicazi smiling too.

Fishlegs almost sighed in relief.

"My queen, please come her" asked Barbara smiling.

She undid Camicazi's tangled braid.

"Now you're not a maiden anymore"

"I wasn't since fifteen years long, was I Hiccup?"

Hiccup shook his head.

"Shut up, Camicazi"

The four laughed.

"Ejem… let go to the murgen-gifu"

Hiccup and Camicazi got on the Windwalker who had became a beautiful and majestic black velvet creature. Fishlegs and Barbara did so on Arrogance, Patience and Innocence.

They flew to some place in the wood. Cami was excited, what was Hiccup going to give her?

They landed in a clearing. No one recognized it.

Hiccup took Camicazi's hands.

"One day you asked me to tell you the story of Hiccup the First. Once I did, you said you would like to be as brave and loyal as him. After, you kept asking me to tell you the story again and again" he smiled "this is the Raven's Spot, Camicazi. This is the place where many years ago, a weird skinny little guy trained and dragon for the first time. The first forbidden friendship in our world was made here. This place is so meaningful that no one would ever be able to express it in words. And now, it's yours, to protect it and love it as the sanctuary it is"

Camicazi smiled and turned around looking at the place. Tears came down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Hiccup…"

Fishlegs, Hiccup and Barbara smiled.

"Now my queen, let get back home. Royal duties are waiting for us." said the king getting on his dragon.

"Yeah, a heir is totally a royal business" answered the queen mounting behind her husband.

"¡Camicazi!"

They all laughed.

"Hiccup! Err- King! There's something I have to talk to you about" Fishlegs and Barbara smiled loveful at each other

Hiccup smiled.

"Finally, my friend!"


End file.
